You have to feel sorry for them, the Tories are fairly new to behaving like human beings.

I’m guessing everyone has witnessed the unhinged shoulder gyrations of Theresa May in Parliament yesterday. But it isn’t the first time that Tories have struggled with passing themselves off as being human.

Worst Superhero Gang in History – The Incredulous

Obviously the Tories hire someone to ‘coach’ them in appearing like human beans, both Mr and Mrs Beans. What strikes me as incredible is that the Tory party have paid someone who has told them to stand like that, coached them to stand like that, had them practice in front of them and critiqued them, and these extra terrestrials have not dismissed it as absurd but have been gullible enough to stand in public as if they have defecated in their pants. THESE ‘people’ think that they are capable to run our country?

Even if you put aside the ministry for silly standing, the fact that human beings have to hire a coach to try and teach them how to act like human beings is a damning indictment on what we permit to become politicians.

It isn’t limited to standing, the Venutians have talky talky lessons too:

But I understand why May descended into a shoulder heaving fit, she’s a terrible public speaker. Her ‘people’ know she’s such a terrible public speaker that, rather than feeding her one of her terrible ‘jokes’ to throw back at Jeremy Corbyn when he collars her during PMQs again, May’s team coached her to respond to the expected awkward question by feigning laughter. Hysterical laughter. Unhinged laughter. Maniacal laughter.

Yes, you will look absolutely ridiculous but not as ridiculous as you do when you open your mouth and not as ridiculous as you’ll look standing at the dispatch box, for yet another PMQs, where you clearly come off third or fourth or non-league best.

May’s team needed a dead whoopee cushion to throw into the room at PMQs and they identified that it was far better for May to sacrifice her dignity, which she clearly places no value on, than be faced with the awkward indignity of being an appalling public speaker, as well as an appalling prime minister, overseeing an appalling government, with an appalling cabinet of equally appalling non and barely human beans. Theresa May cannot even laugh like a normal human being.

Plus they knew that she would get an easy ride in the media. Britain’s Prime Minister has a break down during PMQs, taking, what was, a farce and morphing it into a grotesque. Gawd luv ‘er an’ naw mishtake Maree Puppins.

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